Free Writing
audio: https://soundcloud.com/tia-188659352/tiakeo_findyourvoice_18
The Great Aurora knew the power that lived inside her since she was a little girl. Her body was an imperfect container for this energy that had been passed to her. Others in her blood line had influenced it, but once it was hers it was up to her to wield it. Her mother and father raised her to fear her power. Recognizing its enormity, they dreaded it was something beyond her control, and even beyond theirs. They’d shown her how to carve out a place deep inside herself to hide it and she learned how to exist in a state of illusion - to appear special but not too special, to anticipate and affect others impressions of her, and to humbly divert attention away from the secret hiding inside her. As she practiced being what was expected, the truth within her was not nurtured. Aurora learned to override the most subtle instincts, and if she hadn’t inherited this specific power it all could have been fine. She could have stayed quiet and given an excellent performance, but it wasn’t to be.
The secret within her was so powerful that at times it propelled the girl to want to shine beyond what was expected. Aurora was good at convincing others of her humility but they also sensed an aspect of her that was magnetic, different. As she grew older, she began to see herself as the illusion. She tried to fit in but yearned for deeper connection with others who could recognize her secret. She only needed one to be drawn into her orbit, to make her feel real. She desperately desired someone to see what she had hidden away, to hold a mirror up to show it to her. If only one could stay with her at the center of her storm and acknowledge the existence of the force she could not tamp down within her. Over the years, there were connections made, and they stuck to her nerves like dates on a timeline. Simply recalling the moments would ignite the warm connections as if they were happening again and again. In times of despair or solitude, she relied on them for hope. Eventually she realized that piecing those morsels together did not make a whole. It was futile to rely on others to show her the truest thing about her.
Aurora began to worry that time would run out. That her grown body would give out before she could come into her power. The tricks she learned when she was younger taught her to be safe, to listen to authority, to follow rules without understanding who set them and why. Moreover, she had learned to follow the rules even when she knew they were wrong. She had practiced hiding and diminishing her force instead of nurturing it. Her connection to the natural order of the world around her was so obvious and also unknown. For years Aurora worked to unlearn, to peel back the layers of protection inside herself, feeling around in the dark to remember where she had hidden her gem. A forest had grown inside her and there was no map to follow except her intuition. With each small step and each brave effort she went deeper into the forest of her history. Recognizing trees and stones and plants and seeing them anew. She knew she was on the right track when her body obliged. There was a way that flowed freely, that seemed easy, if she could find it. She would know she was on the right track when her body began to transform.
Each of us has a pattern code built within us. As Aurora started to uncover hers, the power within her expanded. She didn’t have to wield it after all, she simply needed to let it grow until it filled every inch of skin so that she embodied it fully. As she emerged from the forest, she recognized the open tundra of her Nordic ancestors. Her feet felt at home in the snow - her arms outstretched, hands laying parallel with the wind - she closed her eyes to embrace the truth that existed here for her. Her mind carried her, floating and dancing above the winter plain. Her fire ignited her body until she felt bigger and wider and brighter than the snow. She filled the sky with color and light -- and continues to, into eternity - lighting the way for other young girls who find themselves lost in the woods.