Exhibition: DeFUSE

June - September, 2021 - Duluth Art Institute

Virtual 360 - explore the exhibition online: DULUTH ART INSTITUTE website

I make work that speaks to specific moments of clarity, often using basic materials and conflicting techniques that become a conversation between languages. Approaching art as a practice, this exhibition reflects my journey through the vital connection between daily practice and the rich layered work it inspires. As I seek a path beyond trauma's hold on my mind and body, DeFUSE identifies major forces on my mental health and reflects my attempts to address the pathways between extrinsic triggers and my intrinsic coping mechanisms. Is it possible to reverse the fusion between instincts that keep me tied to old ways? Through the process of cognitive defusion I hope to bring my own behavior patterns into context, differentiating between ideas and feelings in order to establish potential space for change.

BAGGAGE, the BLOODLINE series, and the FORCED/FORCE series (all originating in 2018) reflect a personal need to acknowledge, in physical form, the deeply seeded and long burried feelings of psychological harm, disconnection (and epigentic connection) to ancestors, and a recognition that my coping patterns were holding me in a state of denying my truest existence.

The new awareness that comes through art-ing (verb) also brings broader awareness of my impact on others and has redefined how I view myself in my bi-racial marriage and as the mother of two mixed children. WHITE OBLIVION attempts to articulate the veil of whiteness that is so difficult to see from within its borders, while inspiring perspective and complex internal conversations about the ways that white people remain entangled and systemically held in place by their veil - in a similar way that humans are locked by the carved pathways of behavior related to personal trauma.

ALLOWANCE no.1 is still very fresh for me and I continue to interpret my own instincts. This piece attempts to express the tension that comes with separating from old patterns while being unpracticed in new behaviors. The initial sense of wobbly freedom that comes with breaking free ultimately reveals just how restricted the full saturation has been. Future iterations may reveal progress over time.

At the heart of this exhibition is the 100 Day Project: Measured Analog. Inspired by my 4th grader's Montessori teacher during at home pandemic learning, I use geometry as a means to re-establish my connection to structure and order by recognizing my connection to the earth and the natural order. Through measuring sacred geometry, pulling out a pattern in color, and stitching another pattern with thread, I allowed for more than one "right way" and, with every stitch, reprogrammed my body to embrace my inherent nature. These pieces were completed alongside significant ancestral discovery that confirmed in my heart that I am a descendant of the Sámi people in addition to being Finnish.

As I begin the journey of learning, feeling and grasping Sámi history, the exhibition culminates in two works in the new WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE series. This work dances through the in-between space of sacred geometry and my own geometry. The title reflects the complex push and pull between the self-critical voice inside my head and the honest, gentle questioning as I learn to trust my understanding of who I am at this point in my journey.